Step 1: Drape yourself dramatically across your furniture. This is preferably done on a chaise lounge, but a piano or your significant other’s standing desk will be good enough in a pinch. The point here is to display your tragic condition in a place where everyone can see it.
Step 2: Pick at foods like oatmeal and rice, but in the first moment that the nausea subsides, house a pint of cookie dough ice cream and crack open a bottle of champagne to celebrate. Those BRAT diet people don’t know what they’re talking about! Sugar and alcohol are delicious!
Step 3: The stomach flu life sucks. What better way to escape this hell than to play a virtual reality game with a headset? A horror game! A zero gravity simulator! A journey through the human body! A roller-coaster ride! A roller-coaster ride through the human body! Will these affect your condition in some way? Who can say? Find out by trying them all!