This year I was hospitalized three times (including once while W was on a business trip across the country) and began to experience terrifying panic attacks. I’m incredibly grateful for the friends who came through, the doctors who listened, my therapist for teaching me how to cope and move forward, and W for supporting me through everything. BUT when it comes down to it, how I respond depends on me. It’s my responsibility to take what I know and learn and put it into practice. Something that seems to make a difference when I start to feel like I’m being sucked into a black hole is music.
I hadn’t listened to Christian music in five or six years before this year. The reasons why are something I might elaborate on another day, but for now, just know that I was staying far away from it. I found a lot of comfort in listening to and singing Christian songs I remember all the words to. Jars of Clay was my favorite band as a teenager, and “Show You Love,” “I Need You,” “Five Candles (You Were There),” and “The Valley Song,” were on repeat for me this summer along with their debut album from the 90s. Tenth Avenue was my favorite band in college, and “I Have This Hope” pulled me out of some dark moments recently. Their new album “The Things We’ve Been Afraid To Say” has some incredible things to say, and I want to talk about it more in depth sometime soon. Jennifer Knapp and Switchfoot are two others from the Christian music world who I had on playlists this year.
Oldies, K-pop, Disco…you know, the Miscellaneous Fun Stuff!
These are the ten songs I listened to the most while working out, cleaning, or just because. They all make me super happy. Here they are in no particular order:
“Take On Me” – a-ha
“No Rain” – Blind Melon
“Don’t You (Forget About Me)” – Simple Minds
“Your Love” – Outfield
“No Roots” – Alice Merton
“Bboom Bboom” – MOMOLAND
“IDOL” – BTS
“FAKE LOVE” – BTS
“King Of My Heart” – Taylor Swift
“Shadow Dancing” – Andy Gibb
Song W Wishes Would Stop
I have had “Rewrite The Stars” from The Greatest Showman stuck in my head for approximately nine months. It shows no signs of leaving anytime soon, and I never know when it will strike. One moment we’re just living our lives, and the next, I’m living my best romantic life as a trapeze artist and have to sing about it. It’s an opportunity for everyone around me to practice the therapy skill of radical acceptance. This is just what life is now.
Up next, tomorrow is TV Favorites!