In September, we went to Delaware for the annual reunion of W’s best friends from high school. On the drive down, we passed two noticeable signs. The first was for a real place called “Slaughter Beach.” The second was in front of a large business that sells sheds. Their sign said, I kid you not, “Our smallest shed can hold up to 16 clowns.”
W and I laughed pretty much the rest of the way, but I have questions. Are the clowns stacked horizontally or vertically? Are the clowns standing upright and close together, but with wasted negative space over their heads? Is there an average clown height and weight? Do these sheds discriminate against 7 foot clowns? Are the 16 clowns alive and intact, or is it 16 clowns worth of clown body parts arranged like Tetris? What if I have 17 clowns? Could I muscle him in there, or would I really need to take the plunge and purchase the large shed? I assume these clowns are without their coordinating clown accessories or equipment (e.g. sidecars or vans to follow people in) with them in the shed, but just in case I’d check. I’d hate to have to last minute acquire a second shed. W wonders if the clowns are wearing their oversized floppy shoes, which take up a lot of space, and if they aren’t, are they by definition considered clowns anymore? “Our smallest shed can hold up to 16 non-clown people” is a very different marketing strategy. Maybe they sell those sheds over at Slaughter Beach. For all your Slaughter Beach needs!