Beauty Mistakes

Over the years (especially the last few), I’ve dabbled with different beauty products and DIY self care things that I never experimented with before. I have had victories, and I have made mistakes. Terrible, terrible mistakes. Here are three very serious Do Nots.

Do not try to dye your hair red with paprika. I don’t care that it says you can on the internet. The internet lied to me, and it is lying to you too. It will be gross, it will get stuck to your head, and it will make you cry when it goes up your nose while you’re trying to wash it out for 45 minutes. The only thing it won’t do is turn your hair red.

It will be so hard to get out that you give up and accept this as your new look instead.

Speaking of things up your nose, do not use a derma-plane razor on your nose hair. I don’t know what came over me, but while trying out derma-planing the hair on my face to help my eczema, some invisible force made me think, hey! This is going well, why not grab those nose guys while I’m at it! Several screams later, I had to tell W that I had a razor cut in my nose. Be one of the people who’ve never shoved a razor in their noses. It’s not too late for you!

Items That Go Not In Noses, Exhibit A

Wash your hands immediately after applying fake tan. I wish I could blame this on no one telling me, but it clearly says it on the packaging. The packaging isn’t playing around. I had a wedding in a couple days, so I had to call my friend who used to be a beauty queen and humbly ask for advice. Her answer was you can’t do much besides exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate. Well, I exfoliate-exfoliate-exfoliated, and I was still the bridesmaid with orange hands. Don’t be the bridesmaid with orange hands.

Maybe nobody will notice

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