Did you ever see that commercial a long time ago for a headache remedy product called Head On? If you’re not sure, this might jog your memory:
Do you remember now? If not, here’s the whole thing:
When I met W, I thought it was hilarious that he had one of these Head On sticks. It was one of those TV products with memorable advertising that I had never actually seen in real life. W can get horrible migraines, and he claimed it really did help numb his head when things got bad. Okay. That’s the first piece of the story.
Piece two is a butterfly chair, which I had from freshman year of college until well into our first year of marriage. You know the one – if your name was Jessica, Michelle, or Tiffany, it was almost an admission requirement to bring a pink one on move in day. Maybe it was what made me seem approachable that first week in the dorm! Guys, I’m not Unbearably Awkward! Look at my chair! Anyway, it was a great chair, and I loved it.
Now put the pieces together, and what do you get? The events as follows. I was playing video games from the chair one day during our first year of marriage, without moving for several hours…until I began to realize that something very strange was happening. W had left the Head On stick on the chair earlier. It melted while I sat on it, and my entire ass was numb. The chair was unsalvageable, and it took hours for me to get feeling back. Go ahead. You can laugh. I can take it. Come at me with your best “apply directly” joke, I’ve heard them all.